#1 humor site on the 'net

Screaming Stress

Have you fallen asleep yet?

Screaming Stress thanks to Mike King

Stress awareness level

QuotaBills
Snoring: 1. Sheet music; 2. Sound sleeping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

Death - the last sleep? No, it is the final awakening. - Walter Scott

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. - Navajo Proverb

Dilemma of a student: Should I finish my homework or sleep? - Unknown

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. - Mark Twain

Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian. - Herman Melville

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. - WC Fields

It is the trouble that never comes that causes the loss of sleep. - Charles Austin Bates

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips

If you get a reputation as an early riser, you can sleep till noon. - Irish Proverb

The story of a mother's life: trapped between a scream and a hug. - Cathy Guisewite

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more. - Wilson Mizner

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My feet will want to walk to where you are sleeping, but I shall go on living. - Pablo Neruda

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. - Dalai Lama

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming. - A.A. Attanasio

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Death had to take him in his sleep, for if he was awake there'd have been a fight. - Theodore Roosevelt

Every time you walk down the street people are screaming, "You're fired!" - Donald Trump

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Bound by paperwork, short on hands, sleep, and energy... nurses are rarely short on caring. - Sharon Hudacek

3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep... the other wants to know if penguins have knees. - Unknown

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

I fell asleep reading a dull book, and I dreamed that I was reading on, so I awoke from sheer boredom. - Heinrich Neine

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. - Unknown

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. - Dr. Seuss

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

I'm always worried when a woman sees me naked for the first time. That she's just gonna scream and run out of the park. - Gary Delaney

Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow. - Mark Twain

Study while others are sleeping; work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing; and dream while others are wishing. - William Arthur Ward

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas


Idling Eric Idle

Glass World - Where Plumbers Buy

High Heel Diver

Rising To The Occasion

Annual Meeting of the Ontario Summer Tires Club

I See You

Get Off Your High Horse

Redneck Towing

Revenge of the Stallion

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Rat Cut

Spot the Hidden Barred Owl

Smoking Hot Body

Billy the Eagle Owl

Star Wars Fisherman

The Devil's Swimming Pool

Pet Dentist

Nuts And Fruitcakes

Spiral Staircase

Scubaru

Nordern Minnesota Yeneral Store

Pigeon Drink

Epic Turban

Healthy Breakfast