Slimming Staircase

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

It's simple. If it jiggles, it's fat. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

A habit cannot be tossed out the window. It must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time. - Mark Twain

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it. - Fulton J Sheen

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward

Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia. - Jimmy Fallon