Slimming Staircase

Life is too short to be on a diet. - Taylor J Reid

A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

Have a healthy disregard for the impossible. - Larry Page

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. - Unknown

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day

Desperation is a fellow shaving before stepping on the scales. - Unknown

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! - Demetri Martin

I find there is only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

A rich rogue is like a fat hog, who never does good 'til as dead as a log. - Benjamin Franklin

I am on a ketos diet so I avoid sugar, dairy products, wheat, grain or pulses. - Puneet Issar

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each other. - Unknown

Life, if you're fat, is a minefield - you have to pick your way, otherwise you blow up. - Miriam Margolyes

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time. - Joe Girard

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Iceomaniac: One who has to go out of their way to step on thin ice to hear a satisfying crunching sound - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it. - Fulton J Sheen

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Art is made to disturb. Science reassures. There is only one valuable thin in art: the thing you cannot explain. - Georges Braque

The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps - we must step up the stairs. - Vance Havner

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

Calories: 1. Weight lifters; 2. Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm off the diet, but not the treadmill. I speak as someone who's attempted to lose weight and get fit thrice before in my life. - Ronnie Screwvala

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha

Fishing Journal: An imaginative work of sub-literature in which the angler records the weight, length, and species of fish he didn't catch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia. - Jimmy Fallon