#1 humor site on the 'net

Someone Stole A Cracker

Going crackers on the kitchen table

Someone Stole A Cracker thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Who, me?

QuotaBills
A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal. - T S Eliot

There ain't no such thing as wrong food. - Sean Stewart

Show me a liar, and I'll show you a thief. - George Herbert

A girl with cotton stockings never sees a mouse. - American Proverb

A mouse never entrusts his life to only one hole. - Plautus

Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate. - Alan D Wolfe

Chocolate is more than a food, but less than a drug. - R J Huxtable

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

She changes prices. I caught her in a near misdemeanus. - Archie Bunker

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

That picture with Lon Chaney - "Of Mouse And Men." - Archie Bunker

Don King is a big ... thief, and everyone in this room knows it. - Donald Trump

A man is not honest simply because he never had a chance to steal. - Russian Proverb

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost. - Milton Berle

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back. - Woody Allen

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

We waste a lot of time running after people we could have caught by just standing still. - Mignon McLaughlin

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

The true identity theft is not financial. It's not in cyberspace. It's spiritual. It's been taken. - Stephen Covey

Years steal fire from the mind as vigor from the limb; and life's enchanted cup but sparkles near the brim. - Lord Byron

The leader's job is to see the best in human beings who have never caught sight of the best within themselves. - Robin Sharma

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France


Fish Injuries

Nuclear Waste Truck

Rock Watcher

Frog Waltz

Filling The Water Truck

DMV Office

Pawano Lessons

I'm Full

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Be Anything You Want

Drama Queen Diary

Shadow Box Art

Spring Sock Clearance

Dating Time Saver

Coca Cola Twins

Water Relief

Moscow Beach

Diaper Change

Believe In Yourself

Tooth Loss

Adaptive Roots

Corner Stone Art

He Looked Thirsty

Back Peddling Violinist