#1 humor site on the 'net

St. Patrick's Pot of Gold

Lucking out on the drive home

St. Patrick's Pot of Gold thanks to Keith Blake

Driving behind a lucky pint of Guinness

QuotaBills
No gold, no Holy Ghost. - Samuel Butler

I am very proud to be Irish. - Philip Treacy

The law itself follows gold. - Propertius

Where gold speaks every tongue is silent. - Italian Proverb

We hold the dust and let the gold go free. - G K Chesterton

Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh

There are not many Irish people playing tennis. - Goran Ivanisevic

The Danes and the Irish have a great simpatico. - Pierce Brosnan

Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth

My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell

Where you stumble and fall, there you discover the gold. - Joseph Campbell

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

They bequeathed the gleaming gold, treasure of men, to earth. - Beowulf

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

As every thread of gold is valuable, so is every moment of time. - J. Mason

I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack

Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown

I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan

Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

I'm a dirt person. I trust the dirt. I don't trust diamonds and gold. - Eartha Kitt

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

A diamond, though set in horns, is still a diamond, and sparkles in purest gold. - Philip Massinger

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings

The true alchemists do not change lead into gold; they change the world into words. - William H Gass

I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood

I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - JRR Tolkien

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. - Oliver Herford

Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. - William Butler Yeats

I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. - Tamara Tunie

I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison

That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Gold and diamonds are nice, but clean, crisp, controlled water has long been the preeminent hallmark of the rich. - Anthony Doerr

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown


All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse