#1 humor site on the 'net

Table Boat

They thought he would never get off the island...

Table Boat thanks to Keith Blake

... but he really turned the tables!

Table Boat thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
I don't give a ship! - Unknown

Leeks: Vegetables found in boats - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Like ships that clash in the night. - Archie Bunker

Up the creek in a boat with a hole. - Archie Bunker

You're gonna need a bigger boat. - Jaws

Nodding the head does not row the boat. - Unknown

Wherever I sit is the head of the table. - H.L. Mencken

Ships are expendable; the whales are not. - Paul Watson

I hope my ship comes in before my dock rots. - Unknown

Quay: Something you need to start a motor boat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Anyone can steer the ship when the sea is calm. - Publilius Syrus

Zinc: What a ship will do if it has a hole in it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

At a round table there is no dispute about place. - Italian Proverb

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

Day and night, their frail and crippled ships defy the tempest. - Jorge Luis Borges

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. - Emma Goldman

I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship. - Louisa May Alcott

The Meathead swooped down on the table like a plague of crocuses. - Archie Bunker

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. - John Shedd

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

Shells sink,
Dreams float,
Life's good
On our boat. - Jimmy Buffet

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. - Mark Twain

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

After the ship has sunk, a consultant knows how it might have been saved. - Newt Hielscher

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright

Rowing harder doesn't help if the boat is headed in the wrong direction. - Unknown

We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now. - Martin Luther King Jr.

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

Was this the face that launched a thousand ships, and burnt the towers of Ilium? - Christopher Marlowe

Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

My folks didn't come over on the Mayflower but they were here to meet the boat. - Will Rogers

You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. - Christopher Columbus

If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat! Just get on. - Sheryl Sandberg

The ship is safest when it is in port, but that's not what ships were built for. - Paulo Coelho

Neither should a ship rely on one small anchor, nor should life rest on a single hope. - Epictetus

It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs. - W S Gilbert

When you get on the boat that's saving you, don't pull up the ladder behind you. - Adrienne Clarkson

The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder - a waif, a nothing, a no man. - Thomas Carlyle

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

Insight comes, more often than not, from looking at what's been on the table all along. - David McCullough

No one would have ever crossed the ocean if they could have gotten off the ship in the storm. - Charles F. Ketterling

We are imprisoned in the realm of life, like a sailor on his tiny boat, on an infinite ocean. - Anna Freud

Bad Luck: To have thirteen people seated at the table when you’re paying for the drinks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

Those who have one foot in the canoe and one foot in the boat are going to fall into the river. - Tuscarora Proverb

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

To say my fate is not tied to your fate is like saying, "Your end of the boat is sinking." - Hugh Downs

It is not hard to compose, but what is fabulously hard is to leave the superfluous notes under the table. - Johannes Brahms

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

If a man must be obsessed by something, I suppose a boat is as good as anything, perhaps a bit better than most. - E.B. White

For a great gaming experience, make sure the rails, cushion and slate of the pool table are of the best quality. - Unknown

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work. - Stephen King

Oh my. Space travel sounds rather perilous. I can assure you they will never get me on one of those dreadful Star Ships. - C-3PO

The person who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore. - Dale Carnegie

Most people stand on the dock of life waiting for their ship to come in when deep down inside they know it has never left port. - Zig Ziglar

He who loves practice without theory is like the sailor who boards ship without a rudder and compass and never knows where he may cast. - Leonardo da Vinci

Sometimes when you least expect it, the tables turn and that scary feeling that has taken hold of you for so long somehow turns into hope. - David Archuleta

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

You need the kind of objectivity that makes you forget everything you've heard, clear the table, and do a factual study like a scientist would. - Steve Wozniak


Shakespeare Pens

Dog Walking - Remotely

Found It!

If I Should Wake Before I Die

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Nobody Notices

Redneck Stick Family

Lane Closure

Holding On To The Moon

South Carolina Scenery

Young Mechanic

Scary Cold

Redneck Street Fishing

I Found A Bear Cub!

Flippin'

Without 'Me' It's Just 'Aweso'

Lard Family

Tip Discount

I'll Be Right There

Dog Download

Computer SuperUser - a.k.a. 'Root' Hacker

Russian BiteLifter

Paper Jam or Mouse Jam?

Snow Roller