Table Kids

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat. - J.S. Bach

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

Of course I have played outdoor games. I once played dominoes in an open air cafe in Paris. - Oscar Wilde

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda