Table Kids

Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz

Has Beans: Used coffee grounds - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

Eat: What kids do between meals, but not at them - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Leanardo De Cappuccino: Founder, coffee shop chain - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat. - J.S. Bach

Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best. - Bob Talbert

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

I'm pretty intentional about being highly invested in my kids' lives. - Mark Batterson

Couch Potato: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Of course I have played outdoor games. I once played dominoes in an open air cafe in Paris. - Oscar Wilde

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown

Cannibal: 1. One who is fed up with people; 2. A person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter; 3. One who loves his fellow man with gravy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah