Texas 911

Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

The people of Texas want us to secede! - William Clements

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

You can always tell a Texan, but not much. - Unknown

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

The guns and the bombs, the rockets and the warships, are all symbols of human failure. - Lyndon B Johnson

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

To an entrepreneur, closing a financing often feels like the end of a marathon. It's actually the starting gun. - Andy Dunn

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim