Texas 911

Gun Control: Using both hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

You can always tell a Texan, but not much. - Unknown

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

Shooting Star: A famous actor who uses his gun too often - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

There's something fundamentally wrong with bringing a knife to a gun fight. - Sean Connery

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

It's better to have a gun and need it, than to not have a gun and not need it. - Ricky

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

Any gun in the hands of a decent person is no threat to anybody, except bad people. - Charlton Heston

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com