#1 humor site on the 'net

Texas Diet

Everything is BIG in Texas - even their diets

Texas Diet thanks to Jim Farley

Where vegetarians don't dine

Texas Diet thanks to Jim Farley

Texas Diet thanks to Jim Farley

QuotaBills
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

The people of Texas want us to secede! - William Clements

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. - Unknown

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place. - Sarah Dessen

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Shame On All You Hunters

Transparent Touch Calculator

Jet Nozzles

Cord Chewing

Surreal Cubist

Painting The Center Line

Names of the Colours

At Home Grave

Boatload Interception

Shadow Seats

Alice In Hulaland

French Army Knife

Putting Your Foot Down

Chicken Rider

ManHole

Hurricane Irene

Day At The Beach

Luxury Bungalows

Baby Brew

Kids Klub

Sheep Dog Distancing

Candy Hairess

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Bag Hang-Up