Texas Diet

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock