Texas Diet

Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

When you come to a fork in the road, take it. - Yogi Berra

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock