The End Is Near

I am the punishment of God. - Genghis Khan

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Coincidences are spiritual puns. - G K Chesterton

Woman was God's second mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Black holes are where God divided by zero. - Steven Wright

I'm an atheist and I thank God for it. - George Bernard Shaw

I think God has a tremendous sense of humor. - Rainn Wilson

Just pray for a tough hide and a tender heart. - Ruth Graham

God is not interested in your art but, your heart. - Ifeanyi E. Onuoha

Some Catlick priest sprinkling incest over everyone. - Archie Bunker

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created. - Donald Trump

I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Without faith, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible. - Mary McLeod Bethune

I am as bad as the worst, but, thank God, I am as good as the best. - Walt Whitman

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. - George Bernard Shaw

Man - a creature created at the end of a work week when God was tired. - Mark Twain

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things. - Henry Ward Beecher

I read the book of Job last night. I don't think God comes out well in it. - Virginia Woolf

If a door slams shut it means that God is pointing to an open door further on down. - Anna Delaney Peale

I cannot conceive how a man could look up into the heavens and say there is no God. - Abraham Lincoln

Don't tell God that you have a big problem, tell your problem that you have a big God :) - Unknown

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

I love these little people; and it is not a slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God, love us. - Charles Dickens

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single kind act is better than a thousand head-bowings in prayer. - Saadi

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

"I am who I am", said God to Moses regarding His name, because none was worth to be compared to His godhead. - Toba Beta

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in Church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. - Garrison Keillor

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Where our bread is concerned, it is a material matter. Where our neighbor's bread is concerned, it is a spiritual matter. - I.D. Douglas

It's all nonsense. It's only nonsense. I'm not afraid of the rain. I am not afraid of the rain. Oh, oh, God, I wish I wasn't. - Ernest Hemingway

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia