The Wurst Spiral I've Seen

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial. - James Joyce

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Rockets often spiral out of control if you put too much propellant in them. - Steve Jurvetson

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

My husband's German. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me. - Bette Midler

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock