#1 humor site on the 'net

Theft-Free Lunch

No-one at work will want to take your sandwiches now!

Theft-Free Lunch thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

But watch out for the tossers...

QuotaBills
Let them eat cake. - Marie Antoinette

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

I'm not much of a cake person. - Daniel Radcliffe

Inspiration is remembering the future. - Unknown

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Inspiration and genius - one and the same. - Victor Hugo

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Inspiration fires you up; motivation keeps you burning. - Stuart Aken

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it. - Sigmund Freud

For me, the cinema is not a slice of life, but a piece of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant. There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks. - Johann Gottfried Von Herder

It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

When I know that, if I have no inspiration whatsoever, when I come and I just feel empty, I have nothing, I know that I can still play the scene. - Christopher Walken

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Happy Snow Car

Sand Strap Experience

Redneck Calf Feeder

BaCoN T-Shirt

Go Winterized

Car Igloo

Hen Pecked

It's Movie Time

In The Dog House

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Diaper Change

Palestinian Security Check

Wurst-Case Scenario

High-Rise Inifinity Pool

Winter Kayaking

Balanced Family Life

Closed Ahead

Forgettable Fishing Trips

I've Got Your Back

Dr Pepper Financing

Wine Therapy

Weakest Part

Cycle Circles

My New Diet