#1 humor site on the 'net

This Is A Window

Guidelines for door-challenged employees

This Is A Window thanks to Mike King

How to safely make it to your office

QuotaBills
When one door shuts, a hundred open. - Spanish Proverb

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

If you want the girl next door, go next door. - Joan Crawford

A window of opportunity won't open itself. - Dave Weinbaum

Confidence is the hinge on the door to success. - Mary O'Hare Dumas

Opportunity may knock, but you must open the door. - Unknown

It only rains straight down. God doesn't do windows. - Steven Wright

I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open. - Steven Wright

Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. - Clarence Thomas

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. - Flora Whittemore

If a window of opportunity appears, don't pull down the shade. - Tom Peters

listen; there's a hell of a good universe next door: let's go - e e cummings

Follow your bliss and doors will open where there were no doors before. - Joseph Campbell

Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before. - Mignon McLaughlin

Let everyone sweep in front of his door and the whole world will be clean. - Mother Teresa

When you ask "What if..." you open the door to all your options. - Unknown

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. - John Barrymore

He who is outside the door has already a good part of his journey behind him. - Dutch Proverb

Burst down those closet doors once and for all, and stand up and start to fight. - Harvey Milk

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door. - Saul Bellow

The door that nobody else will go in at seems always to swing open widely for me. - Clara Barton

Imagination, of course, can open any door - turn the key and let terror walk right in. - Truman Capote

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

The present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is the door to all moments. - Thich Nhat Hanh

You know that I'm at death's door. But the trouble is that I'm afraid to knock. - W Somerset Maugham

If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is: infinite. - William Blake

I love Valentine's Day! I love it, I love it, I love it. I like having doors opened for me. - Ginnifer Goodwin

Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. - Ani DiFranco

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window - or break down a door. - Brooke Shields

When you're following your inner voice, doors tend to eventually open for you, even if they mostly slam at first. - Kelly Cutrone

Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in. - Alan Alda

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

Thirteen roadways lead through life
To thirteen doors of death,
Homeward from foolish fears and strife
We float on failing breath. - Tao

It was any outcast's nightmare. If I looked carefully, I suspected I might find it beneath the black paint of the small acrylic by the window. - Nancy Werlin

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson


Science Project Turmoil

Parking Forever

I've Got Time

Red Wine Diet

Nice Try, Mom

Flight of the Ladybug

Time To Retire

Chess On The Wall

Tree Face

Bad Day Flyer

Back Bard

St. Peter's Fish

Feed Me

Horse Model

Get In Line!

Coffee World

Horsing Around

Think Big

The Wurst Spiral I've Seen

Grass Leak

Dead Sea Fish

Jesus On The Beach

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Moldy Bible