#1 humor site on the 'net

Tight Fit Ship

Cruise ships reaching their full potential

Tight Fit Ship thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
I don't give a ship! - Unknown

Leeks: Vegetables found in boats - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Like ships that clash in the night. - Archie Bunker

Up the creek in a boat with a hole. - Archie Bunker

Kinship: Your rich Uncle's boat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nodding the head does not row the boat. - Unknown

Ships are expendable; the whales are not. - Paul Watson

I hope my ship comes in before my dock rots. - Unknown

Quay: Something you need to start a motor boat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Zinc: What a ship will do if it has a hole in it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

Tell the men to fire faster and not give up the ship. - Captain James Lawrence

Day and night, their frail and crippled ships defy the tempest. - Jorge Luis Borges

I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship. - Louisa May Alcott

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. - John Shedd

Shells sink,
Dreams float,
Life's good
On our boat. - Jimmy Buffet

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

I have a feeling that when my ship comes in I'll be at the airport. - Charles Schulz

After the ship has sunk, a consultant knows how it might have been saved. - Newt Hielscher

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Rowing harder doesn't help if the boat is headed in the wrong direction. - Unknown

We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now. - Martin Luther King Jr.

When rats leave a sinking ship, where exactly do they think they're going? - Douglas Gauck

Was this the face that launched a thousand ships, and burnt the towers of Ilium? - Christopher Marlowe

My folks didn't come over on the Mayflower but they were here to meet the boat. - Will Rogers

If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat! Just get on. - Sheryl Sandberg

The ship is safest when it is in port, but that's not what ships were built for. - Paulo Coelho

The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder - a waif, a nothing, a no man. - Thomas Carlyle

If the highest aim of a captain were to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever. - Thomas Aquinas

We are imprisoned in the realm of life, like a sailor on his tiny boat, on an infinite ocean. - Anna Freud

Those who have one foot in the canoe and one foot in the boat are going to fall into the river. - Tuscarora Proverb

To say my fate is not tied to your fate is like saying, "Your end of the boat is sinking." - Hugh Downs

When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst

If a man must be obsessed by something, I suppose a boat is as good as anything, perhaps a bit better than most. - E.B. White

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.' - Steven Wright

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The person who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore. - Dale Carnegie

Most people stand on the dock of life waiting for their ship to come in when deep down inside they know it has never left port. - Zig Ziglar

When your heart is broken, your boats are burned: nothing matters any more. It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace. - George Bernard Shaw

He who loves practice without theory is like the sailor who boards ship without a rudder and compass and never knows where he may cast. - Leonardo da Vinci


Saying Pun

Redneck Blinds

Kid Disposal

Motorvation

Electric Football

Montgomery Ward 1934 Christmas Catalog

Halloween Lamp

Making Music Together

Back Asswards

Tent Peg Setup

Fang Treats

Model T Snowmobile

Skinny Puddy Tat

Redneck Cocktail

Drug Dog Search

Vice Grip Handles

Nouveau Riche

Triple Bypass Burger

Hyphenated Names

Indian Fish Pond

Lunch Anyone?

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration