Typewriting While Driving

History is written by the victors. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Stand up and walk out of your history. - Phil McGraw

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

It's a very good historical book about history. - Dan Quayle

The main thing is to make history, not to write it. - Otto von Bismarck

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

History will never accept difficulties as an excuse. - John F Kennedy

We are not makers of history. We are made by history. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I'm just the smallest dot in a big map of human history. - Ben Casnocha

Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant

History is the sum total of things that could have been avoided. - Konrad Adenauer

It is the soothing thing about history that it does repeat itself. - Gertrude Stein

History is a tool used by politicians to justify their intentions. - Ted Koppei

The only thing new in the world is the history you don't know. - Harry S Truman

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

We would like to live as we once lived, but history will not permit it. - John F Kennedy

The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice. - Mark Twain

If the cavemen had known how to laugh, history would have been different. - Oscar Wilde

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead. - Tommy Bolt

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. - Jay Leno

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

How many ideas have there been in the history of the human race that were unthinkable ten years before they appeared? - Fyodor Dostoevsky

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of the best-kept secrets in recent Soviet history: Communism doesn't work. - Frank Zappa

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A helping word to one in trouble is often like a switch in a railroad track ... an inch between a wreck and smooth, rolling prosperity. - Henry Ward Beecher

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

There is only one history of any importance, and it is the history of what you once believed in, and the history of what you came to believe in. - Kay Boyle

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele

Religions, which condemn the pleasures of sense, drive men to seek the pleasures of power. Throughout history power has been the vice of the ascetic. - Bertrand Russell