#1 humor site on the 'net

Unless Your Dog Can Do This

Polite way of saying, 'Clean up after your dog'

Unless Your Dog Can Do This thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up. - Molly Shannon

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia


Hug Me

A Shark Ate My Homework

Victorian Bathing Machine

Winter in Wyoming

He Looks Just Like His Father!

Key Frame

Jet Propelled Eagle

Frisbee Dog

Studley Tool Chest

Dog Balance

We Haul It All

3 Stages Of A Man's Life

TurbAnne - India's Iron Lady

Italian Fire Exit

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Obesity Is OK

Frost Bite

Spaghetti Western

Nobody Is Above Suspicion At Customs

Squirmy Jelly Worms

Sharkalanche

Daily Rain Gauge

Sandwich Shoes

Bicycle Skates