Useful Apple Computer

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Immunity to boredom gives the computer an edge. - Alan Lakein

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

Iconomic: Making do with fewer icons on your computer desktop - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Scientists discover the world that exists; engineers create the world that never was. - Theodore von Karman

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

One has to look out for engineers - they begin with sewing machines and end up with the atomic bomb. - Marcel Pagnol

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Boat Anchor: 1. Thrown out when you need it, and taken in when you don't; 2. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Whenever you are embarrassed, just remember that in 1999 NASA destroyed a $655 Million project because the engineers mistook kilograms and pounds. - Unknown