#1 humor site on the 'net

WatchCat

More flexible than a WatchDog, this cat keeps graffiti off signs

WatchCat thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

WatchCat: A cat trained to guard people or property

QuotaBills
Every dog has his day. - Unknown

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. - Montaigne

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


Truck Rest Stop

Romaine Empire

Hardworking Wife

What's That?

Long, Happy Marriage

Redneck iPad

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Microsoft Innovation

Mop Dog

Ventilated Bridge

Monkeying Around

Wing Support

Massage Therapist

Paper Wedding Dress

High Rise TV

Redneck Kickstand

Mary Potter

Jarred Cat

Frog Waltz

SinkHole Pickup

Always Use Your Mirrors

Johnny On The Pot's Plumber Truck

Wrench Wheel

Bonsai Fruit Tree