Water Short

The water doesn't know how old you are. - Dara Torres

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. - Cathy Carlyle

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown