Water Short

Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

The water doesn't know how old you are. - Dara Torres

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown