Water Wigs

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut. - Warren Buffet

The water doesn't know how old you are. - Dara Torres

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

He doesn't dye his hair, he bleaches his face. - Johnny Carson

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Khalil Gibran

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown