Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns

Candlestine romance - Archie Bunker

Who picks your clothes? - Stevie Wonder

Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

Ambition is a dream with a V8 engine. - Elvis Presley

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

Generosity gives assistance, rather than advice. - Marquis de Vauvenargues

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. - Oscar Wilde

He has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original. - Alice Cooper

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

It is ever so much easier to be good if your clothes are fashionable. - L.M. Montgomery

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

Advice is like kissing: it costs nothing and is a pleasant thing to do. - H.W. Shaw

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - Mark Twain

Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most always like it the least. - Philip Dormer Stanhope (Earl of Chesterfield)

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

My movies are usually about stripping off the makeup, getting down to the skeleton. - Michael Douglas

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself. - Oscar Wilde

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. - Bill Cosby

Don't ever give anybody your best advice, because they're not going to follow it. - Jack Nicholson

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say 'when'. - P G Wodehouse

He is bad that will not take advice, but he is a thousand times worse that takes every advice. - Unknown

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not a piece of advice, it is merely a custom. - Mark Twain

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. - Harry S Truman

Relationships are about give and take; not tit-for-tat. If you're keeping score, you'll lose at your own game. - Faydra D. Fields

The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown

Everyone has their preferred stroller, their preferred crib, their preferred Moses basket. And they have advice on that too! - Tori Spelling

Here's good advice for practice: go into partnership with nature; she does more than half the work and asks none of the fee. - Martin H. Fischer

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about. - Evan Esar