#1 humor site on the 'net

Wine Aerobics

What a corkscrew bottle opener does to keep in shape

Wine Aerobics thanks to Howard Chapman

Kitchen excercise always precedes a good bottle of wine

QuotaBills
In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

Does running late count as exercise? - Unknown

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

That one kind of grapes on my nerves. - Archie Bunker

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

Soccer: A European warm-up exercise for rioting - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp

I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell. - Alec Yuill-Thornton

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club. - Naguib Mahfouz

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise. - Sigmund Freud

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Maybe I oughta get one of them priests in to exercise with her. - Archie Bunker

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

Jumping At Conclusions: Not half as much exercise as digging for facts - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

Some wines improve with age, but only if the grapes were good in the first place. - Abigail Van Buren

There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. - Unknown

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order. - John Adams

Every leap year I like to jump. It’s a good way to get my daily exercise in every four years. - Jarod Kintz

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

I exercise at least five times a week with stretching, Pilates, push-ups, planks, sit-ups, squats and light weights. - Reba McEntire

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

To win back my youth... There is nothing I wouldn't do - except take exercise, get up early, or be a useful member of the community. - Oscar Wilde

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison


Public Transportation In Scotland

Guarded Nights

Financial Meltdown

Fox Kabob

Microwaved Bulb... Watts You Won't See

Saks-e Parking Job

Griller Bees

Texting While Cycling

Redneck Manicure

Police Profiling In Canada

Tree Stand

No Worries

Hospital Gown Insurance

Facebook Red Light

Redneck Speed Bump

Scientific Driving Test

House 'Broke'rage

Trampoline Apartment

Behind Every Man

SailBite Ride - Swimming Not Advised

Aisle Cleanup

His Dent

Car Surgeon

Slamming On Your Brakes