Young Mechanic Apprentice

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Great shot kid, that was one in a million. - Han Solo

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

When I was a kid everyone used to call me pork 'n. - Michael Biehn

When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point. - Barack Obama

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. - Rodney Dangerfield

As a kid, I got three meals a day. Oatmeal, miss-a-meal and no meal. - Mr. T

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon. - Brian P. Cleary

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding. - Demetri Martin

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult. - Chris Hardwick

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

No kid is unsmart. Every kid's a genius at something. Our job is to find it. And then encourage it. - Robin Sharma

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

I was a huge bookworm as a kid, and you could usually find me reading something with a dragon on its cover. - Julie Kagawa

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor, mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist. - R. Buckminster Fuller

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians,
and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. - Groucho Marx

The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. - Rodney Dangerfield

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller