Young Mechanic Apprentice

I go through life like a Karate Kid. - Britney Spears

Great shot kid, that was one in a million. - Han Solo

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. - Emo Philips

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. - Rodney Dangerfield

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if he wanted to be one? - Jackie Mason

I'm like the kid in kindergarten; I really do send valentines to everyone. - Susie Bright

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed. - Don Rickles

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was a kid, I used to think pork chops and karate chops were the same thing. - Shane Koyczan

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult. - Chris Hardwick

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you're 12, but every single day. - Mike Myers

Because there is always some kid who may be seeing me for the first or last time, I owe him my best. - Joe DiMaggio

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

No kid is unsmart. Every kid's a genius at something. Our job is to find it. And then encourage it. - Robin Sharma

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being. - John S Mill

A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor, mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist. - R. Buckminster Fuller

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school. - Unknown

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah