Young Mechanic Apprentice

I go through life like a Karate Kid. - Britney Spears

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

You can kid the world, but not your sister. - Charlotte Gray

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. - Rodney Dangerfield

Jackpot: When all the kids stay at friends' homes for the night - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. - Carrie Underwood

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed. - Don Rickles

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding. - Demetri Martin

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

You have to look for teachers. If you want to be a mechanic, go hang out with mechanics. - Robert Kiyosaki

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you're 12, but every single day. - Mike Myers

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

Because there is always some kid who may be seeing me for the first or last time, I owe him my best. - Joe DiMaggio

No kid is unsmart. Every kid's a genius at something. Our job is to find it. And then encourage it. - Robin Sharma

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller