#1 humor site on the 'net

Airplane Seating Diagram

Assigned the best-fit seat on a no-frills flight

Airplane Seating Diagram thanks to Keith Blake

How not to start off your holiday trip

QuotaBills
If I cannot fly, let me sing. - Stephen Sondheim

Music is the poetry of the air. - Jean Paul Richter

It's opener there in the wide open air. - Dr. Seuss

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb

Air Travel: Seeing less and less of more and more. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Your wings already exist. All you have to do is fly. - Unknown

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

Flight attendants don't die, they just fly higher. - Unknown

Luck is like having a rice dumpling fly into your mouth. - Japanese Proverb

I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of not flying. - Unknown

If you stand up and be counted, someone will take your seat. - Unknown

If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down. - Roy T Bennett

The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart. - William Hazlitt

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters

A man who has both feet planted firmly in the air can be safely called a liberal. - American Proverb

There are two kind of air travel in the United States, first class and third world. - Bobby Slayton

Lawyers are like foxes, small and innocuous, but all the time stealthily sniffing the air. - Michael O'Sullivan

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly. I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky. - Unknown

I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Jack Dempsey were just jet pilots. I'm in a world of my own. - Muhammad Ali

A drone is often preferred for missions that are too 'dull, dirty, or dangerous' for manned aircraft. - Nick Hahn

The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, "Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?" - Robin Williams

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

The understanding must not therefore be supplied with wings, but rather hung with weights, to keep it fro leaping and flying. - Francis Bacon

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

Sloth is the failure to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done - like the kamikaze pilot who flew seventeen missions. - John Ortberg

Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself. - Joel Hawes

It's like running a marathon race. We train all hours of the day. When you are taking a bath, you are thinking of the flight. - Kalpana Chawla

Living as we do in an age of noise and bluster, success is now measured accordingly. We must all be seen, and heard, and on the air. - Daphne du Maurier

From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey

Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato

Like a prisoner awaiting his release, like a schoolboy when the end of term is near, like a migrant bird ready to fly south... I long to be gone. - Malcolm Muggeridge


Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself

Time Machine

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail