#1 humor site on the 'net

Ancient Thing Store

English shopper alert at an Asian antique store

Ancient Thing Store thanks to Roy Turkington

Something for everyone

QuotaBills
My store is open to all. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

Thailand stands at a crossroads. - Thaksin Shinawatra

In ancient Rome they killed Sid Caesar - Archie Bunker

The ancient Egyptian kings, the fairy-ohs. - Archie Bunker

We can never tell what is in store for us. - Harry S Truman

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

Do not remove the ancient landmark that your ancestors set up. - Bible

With the ancient is wisdom, and in length of days understanding. - Job 12:1

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

I liked being a teenager, but I would not go back for all the tea in China. - Rob Lowe

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically. - Steven Wright

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

All things that people take home from the store become part of their identities. - David Masten

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

The most dangerous thing I've ever done is probably bungee jumping in Thailand. - Simon Cowell

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

The Ancient Mariner would not have taken so well if it had been called The Old Sailor. - Samuel Butler

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

It's possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated. - Alec Bourne

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Like a bull into a china closet. Like in that picture, "The Prince and The Porpoise." - Archie Bunker

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate.
What's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House? - Will Rogers

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. - Erma Bombeck

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man inevitably confines himself within ancient limits. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. - Jan Wong

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump

A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make. - Unknown

It was one of the most ancient terrors, the one that meant that no sooner had mankind learned to walk on two legs than it dropped to its knees. - Terry Pratchett

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


A Fish Called Wanda - Uncut Version

Point Of View

Good Conductor

Kelp Us!

Croc Lunge

Tree Awning

Oversize Load

Redneck Spoon

Cheating

Be Very Quiet

Quick Rubik's Cube

Window Sundial

Helping Hands

Short On Electricity

Amish Friends

Spiral Roots

Tree Sorrow

Domino Crossing

Family Reunion

Roll Me Over

Hockey PlayHers

Concealed Weapon

Lettuce Face

Devoted Husband