QuotaBillsNipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare
Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb
Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett
De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown
After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer
No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon
Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein
Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin
Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams
Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox
Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas
The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain
If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith
No one escapes his fate, not the coward, nor the brakeman, from the moment of his birth. - Homer
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning
For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer. - Andy Warhol
If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson
I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox
As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin
Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds