Babysitter Dog

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Burn rubber, not your soul, baby. - Craig Fernandez

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

A babysitter should at least be out of puberous. - Archie Bunker

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

Sensitive love letters are my specialty: "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. P.S. I'm gay." - Homer Simpson

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash