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Marry money. - Max Shulman

No Sane man will dance. - Cicero

In politics nothing is contemptible. - Benjamin Disraeli

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

Insurance is for people who don't have money. - Neil Zukerman

Politics is the art of controlling your environment. - Hunter S. Thompson

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? - George Carlin

We live in a world in which politics has replaced philosophy. - Martin L. Gross

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. - Tex Guinan

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

If we were interested in making money, we wouldn’t have become teachers. - Robin Williams

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket. - Will Rogers

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. - Dorothy Parker

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money. - Jules Renard

Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right. - Kurt H Adler

What is the first part of politics? Education. The second? Education. And the third? Education. - Jules Michelet

Beware of those who would pay you lip service but refuse to put their money where their mouths are. - Faydra D. Fields

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money. - Marlon Brando

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I would gladly eat a network executive or a politician. - Marty Feldman

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. - Pericles (430 B.C.)

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. - G. Gordon Liddy

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life itself, power and glory, or happiness. - Aristotle

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer