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Why bacon is for Periodic Element nerds

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Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Bacon, The source of all happiness. - Samuel V.D. Evans

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

Either you like bacon or you're wrong. - Unknown

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

I love super crispy, almost burned, snapping-crispy bacon. - David Lynch

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

Even apocalypse looks less dire when viewed over a plate of bacon. - Stephanie Stamm

Bacon is going to save the world. I don't know how but it will. - Unknown

If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

The pig is not just pork chops and bacon and ham to us. The pig is a co-laborer in this great land-healing ministry. - Joel Salatin

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown


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