#1 humor site on the 'net

Been Sleeping In The Sun

Latest in spoon sun tans

Been Sleeping In The Sun thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Getting a leg up on applying after sun lotion

QuotaBills
Women hold up half the sky. - Mao Zedong

Manners are love in a cool climate. - Quentin Crisp

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

I fell of my pink cloud with a thud. - Elizabeth Taylor

Fog is just clouds that have fell down. - Unknown

Grey skies are just clouds passing over. - Duke Ellington

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain

Following the light of the sun, we left the Old World. - Christopher Columbus

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

I'll tell you how the sun rose - a ribbon at a time. - Emily Dickinson

Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you. - Maori Proverb

He who has the property in the soil has the same up in the sky. - Latin Proverb

You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows. - Bob Dylan

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

I need the starshine of your heavenly eyes,
After the day's great sun. - Charles Hanson Towne

Sun salutations can energize and warm you, even on the darkest, coldest winter day. - Carol Krucoff

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we can have lots of good fun that is funny. - Dr. Seuss

I have to dream and reach for the stars, and if I miss a star then I grab a handful of clouds. - Mike Tyson

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. - Duncan Spaeth

Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances. - Sarah Young

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

It would be a terrific innovation if you could get your mind to stretch a little further tan the next wisecrack. - Katharine Hepburn

That black cloud is coming from the direction the wind is blowing, now the wind is coming from where the black cloud is. - Ray Illingworth

Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day. - Suzy Kassem

A cloudy day or a little sunshine have as great an influence on many constitutions as the most recent blessings or misfortunes. - Joseph Addison

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

After every storm the sun will smile; for every problem there is a solution, and the soul's indefeasible duty is to be of good cheer. - William R. Alger

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I'd like to express my thanks -
I got the sun in the mornin'
And the moon at night. - Irving Berlin

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky. - Hafez


RSVP

France-Is Bacon

Do Not Touch Sign

Giant Step For Mankind

SirLoin

On This Site in 1897

Ship Shipping Ships

Seal Survival

The Power Of Faith

Jesus Was Here

Palm Sunday Social Distancing Service

Pine Trees Know When It's Easter

Beware Of Who Is Watching Over Your Church

Handicap Ramp

Kick Out Boxing

Patience and Wisdom

Submarine Racing

Dead Sea Burgers

Sick Statue

I Will Never Understand Fashion

Courtesy Option

Ab Enhancer

Family Planning Advice

Cracks Me Up