Beginner's Golf

Golf is a good walk spoiled. - H.S. Scrivener

All is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb

Absentee: A missing golfing peg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown

Teetotaler: A golfer who only keeps track of drives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Good Sportsmanship: Not picking up lost golf balls while they are still rolling - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

The biggest thing is just routine. I think that's the biggest correlation between golfers and basketball players. - Stephen Curry

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump