Best Kind Of Antique

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Old and young, we are all on our last cruise. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be. - Robert Browning

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm. - Henry David Thoreau

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. - Jim Eason

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

You can get old pretty young if you don't take care of yourself. - Yogi Berra

There were dragons to slay in the old days. Nixon was a good dragon. - Pat Oliphant

Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. - Mark Twain

A man is often too young to marry, but a man is never too old to love. - Finnish Proverb

Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits. - Unknown

Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new. - Henry David Thoreau

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

He's talking another war, an old war, ya know, 1812, the one between the states. - Archie Bunker

A mind that is stretched by new experiences can never go back to its old dimensions. - Oliver W. Holmes Jr.

Before you contradict an old man, my fair friend, you should endeavor to understand him. - George Santayana

My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

The waitress had the appearance of a very old hooker who had finally found her place in life. - Hunter S. Thompson

There's an old saying, "Ya don't keep runnin' after you catch the bus." - Archie Bunker

What we have to do, what at any rate it is our duty to do, is to revive the old art of Lying. - Oscar Wilde

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham

A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good. - Stephen Colbert

People ask how I feel about getting old. I tell them I have the same question. I'm learning as I go. - Paul Simon

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. - Groucho Marx

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless. - Homer Simpson

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. - Joan Kerr

I really believe that more harm is done by old men who cling to their influence than by young men who anticipate it. - Owen D. Young

If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should never grow old. - James A. Garfield

To know how to grow old is the master work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living. - Frederic Amiel

Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty - they merely move it from their faces into their hearts. - Martin Buxbaum

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller