#1 humor site on the 'net

Bird's Nest Beard

Winner of this year's Beard Fest

Bird's Nest Beard thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Why Wilbur was a vertically-challenged sleeper

Which one is the cuckoo?

QuotaBills
Bird House: Home Tweet Home. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

The early bird catches the worm. - English Proverb

I want to paint the way a bird sings. - Claude Monet

Crowbar: Where birds can get a drink. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The freedom of birds is an insult to me. - Cormac McCarthy

Wishing to be a bird so you can Fly Away. - Unknown

The littlest birds sing the prettiest songs. - Tanyas

Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat? - Dr Gonzo

Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness. - Alejandro Jodorowsky

Was there a bird for the souls of people like me? - Ruta Sepetys

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

Don't point that beard at me – it might go off. - Groucho Marx

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

The bird is powered by its own life and by its motivation. - Abdul Kalam

I never wanted to weigh more heavily on a man than a bird. - Coco Chanel

Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm. - Alan Perlis

Woodpecker: 1. A knocking bird; 2. A 17th Century prosthetic device. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Impeccable: 1. Having immunity to woodpeckers; 2. Hidden from birds. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

may my heart always be open to little birds who are the secrets of living - e e cummings

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

Though what bird in the best of circumstances does not look a little stricken? - Lorrie Moore

With birds flying around, man's desire for having wings rises to infinite. - Mehmet M Ildan

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

The structure of a play is always the story of how the birds come home to roost. - Arthur Miller

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

Birds with broken wings walking on the ground were once flying high up in the sky. - Mehmet M Ildan

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

Birds find shelter during the rain, but eagles avoid rain by flying above the clouds. - Abdul Kalam

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind. Listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody. - Eubie Blake

Love is not only the story of butterflies or birds; it is also the story of jackals and hounds. - M.F. Moonzajer

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance. - e e cummings

Learn to adapt like a bird. We can only dream of flying, but the bird has already grown her wings. - Debasish Mridha

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses. - Dale Carnegie

Success is full of promise till a man gets it; and then it is a last year's nest from which the birds have flown. - Henry Ward Beecher

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don't mind going through a little bush to get there! - Minnie Pearl

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

You are Mr. Owl. I am Ms. Hummingbird. We may come from different species but as long as you're a bird, I'm a bird too. - Glad Munaiseche

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne

A male frigate bird blows up a wild red pouch on his neck. He can keep it puffed up for hours. It is his way of impressing the girls. - Julie Murphy

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before. - Robert Lynd

Join voices, all ye living souls: ye birds,
That singing up to heaven-gate ascend,
Bear on your wings and in your notes his praise. - John Milton

Like a prisoner awaiting his release, like a schoolboy when the end of term is near, like a migrant bird ready to fly south... I long to be gone. - Malcolm Muggeridge


New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox

Pre-Dinner Photography

Curses, Foiled Again

Ant Virus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Bird's Eye View

Sea Girl

Lifeguard Distancing

Merry Go Motorbike

Build Back Better - Season 2

Build Back Better - Season 1

Zamboni Date

Bagpipe Runners

9 Months On The Inside

Noah Called

The Mighty Stegosaurus

Get A Dog They Said

Are You Ready?

Down Day