Car problems when driving at night
Carolyn, a rich blonde, buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sport.
She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, the car just won’t move at all. After trying to drive the car at night for a week (but without any luck), she furiously calls the Jaguar dealers and they send out a technician to her. The technician examines the car and finds nothing wrong with it.
So he turns to the blonde and asks, “Ma’am, are you sure you are using the right gears?”
Full of anger, the blonde replies, “You fool, you idiot, how on earth you could ask such a question? I’m not stupid you know! Of course I am using the right gears. I use ‘D’ during the day and ‘N’ at night.”
Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips
Q: What do you call a blonde with brains?
A: A labrador. - Lee Mack
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg
My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek
It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. - Raymond Chandler
Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman
When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley
It's great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people. - Pamela Anderson
Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin
Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly
The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake
When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro