#1 humor site on the 'net

Burger Sale

Sign of a hungry, illiterate employee

Burger Sale thanks to Grant Fuller

How often does your grill go down?

QuotaBills
Your face is a household word. - Archie Bunker

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

What's another word for thesaurus? - Steven Wright

Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Francis Bacon

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. - W Somerset Maugham

A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence. - Pythagoras

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

Democracy! Bah! When I hear that word I reach for my feather Boa. - Allen Ginsberg

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. - Unknown

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

Politics: Poli, a Latin word meaning "many"; and tics, meaning "bloodsucking creatures." - Robin Williams

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Grammar: 1. Lives with granpar; 2. The difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You’re Nuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every time you use the word 'healthy,' you lose. The key is to make yummy, delicious food that happens to be healthy. - Marcus Samuelsson

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

The most beautiful word on the lips of mankind is the word 'Mother', and the most beautiful call is the call of 'My Mother'. - Kahlil Gibran


Motorcycle Enforcement in Japan

Safe Sex Dress

'Time To Quit' Friend

Ostrich Passion

How To Spot An Amish Terrorist

I Can Bearly See Him

Digital Analog Clock

Motion Detector Camera Night Activity

Swinging Tea Pot

Instant Acrophobia

Arab Barking Lot

Politics in Canada and the United States

Dog Recipe

Rubik's Cube Jigsaw Puzzle

Redneck Parachute

Historical Marker

10 Years From Now

Redneck Motorcycle Hunter

Age In Cat Years

Texas Tornado Warning

Impossible Illusions

Country SUV

President Guidance

Cornrow Politics