#1 humor site on the 'net

Burnt Beer

A better alternative to burnt offerings at home

Burnt Beer thanks to Keith Blake

Is your life the Schlitz?

QuotaBills
Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Burn rubber, not your soul, baby. - Craig Fernandez

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

It's better to burn out than fade away. - Neil Young

Emperor Negro, who fiddled while Rome burned. - Archie Bunker

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa

Love is friendship set on fire. Hate is friendship burned. - Jeremy Taylor

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Stay up and really burn the midnight oil. There are no compromises. - Leontyne Price

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn. - David Russell

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell

Was this the face that launched a thousand ships, and burnt the towers of Ilium? - Christopher Marlowe

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter. - Bono

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

He is not an honest man who has burned his tongue and does not tell the company that the soup is hot. - Yugoslav Proverb

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

The time I burned my guitar it was like a sacrifice. You sacrifice the things you love. I love my guitar. - Jimi Hendrix

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work in hand. The Sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus. - Alexander Graham Bell

I heard his library burned down and both books were destroyed - and one of them hadn't even been colored in yet. - Robertson Davies

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would have burned me. Now they are content with burning my books. - Sigmund Freud

A forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note, torn in two and burned up, so that it can never be shown against the man. - Henry Ward Beecher

Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. - Stephen R. Covey

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Unknown

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster


2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Women's Rights

Finger's House

Deplorter

Squeegee Clothing

Child's Decision Making Tree

Ambition

Cold Books

Ikea Blueprint

Waterslide Closet

Canadian Whiskey

Car-Eating Cow

Tea For Two

Paint Pants

Sea Sand Art

Grief Bacon

Respect For Grapes

Up Purriscope

Fresh Chicken

Ice Climbing Building

Does Your Hedgehog Bite?

Lazy Line Painters

Vegan Brownies

From Start To Finish