#1 humor site on the 'net

Calory Bomb

Going on a diet this year?

Calory Bomb thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Blowing away other weight loss plans

Guaranteed to lose weight - recommended by 4 out of 5 Jihadists

QuotaBills
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

The dieting wars have got to stop. - Lady Gaga

Life is too short to be on a diet. - Taylor J Reid

I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way

A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

I find forgiveness to be really healthy. - Ben Affleck

Mine is the least fat diet in the world. - Pierre Dukan

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

It's simple. If it jiggles, it's fat. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Why y'all duded up lookin' like Errol Slim? - Archie Bunker

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I've probably tried every fad diet in the world. - Jenna Ushkowitz

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight. - The Devil Wears Prada

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

I'm into fitness: Fit'ness whole donut in my mouth. - Unknown

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! - Demetri Martin

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

I believe that how you feel is very important to how you look - that healthy equals beautiful. - Victoria Principal

I grew up on a steady diet of science fiction, especially apocalyptic and postapocalyptic fiction. - Justin Cronin

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. - Josh Billings

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Get Off Your High Horse

Redneck Towing

Revenge of the Stallion

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Rat Cut

Spot the Hidden Barred Owl

Smoking Hot Body

Billy the Eagle Owl

Star Wars Fisherman

The Devil's Swimming Pool

Pet Dentist

Nuts And Fruitcakes

Spiral Staircase

Scubaru

Nordern Minnesota Yeneral Store

Pigeon Drink

Epic Turban

Healthy Breakfast

Motorcycle Campers

Canadian Banknotes - Extreme Makeover For Toonie

Wheelchair Mower

How To Fail at Photoshopping Pictures

Life Expectancy by Age

Construction Clouds