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Car Jump

Dude, I'm positive you can make that jump

Car Jump thanks to Keith Blake

When Evel Knievel changed his name to Awful Knawfull

QuotaBills
Jump and the net will appear. - Les Brown

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality. - Clifton Fadiman

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps. - Benjamin Disraeli

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

I hope it will be hard for the Russians to jump across that creek. - Gustavus Adolphus

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

The harpsichord sounds like two skeletons copulating on a corrugated roof. - Thomas Beecham

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one. - Sam Rayburn

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. - George Carlin

We are our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves. - Tom Robbins

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

The Swedish engineer who invented the zip fastener made a greater intellectual leap than many scientists do in a lifetime. - Martin Rees

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

If a train is coming at you, closing your eyes won't save you... but if you look right at it, you at least have a chance to jump. - Andrew Vachss

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left?
Five, because there's a difference between deciding and doing. - Mark L. Feldman & Michael F. Spratt

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


Parking Forever

I've Got Time

Red Wine Diet

Nice Try, Mom

Flight of the Ladybug

Time To Retire

Chess On The Wall

Tree Face

Bad Day Flyer

Back Bard

St. Peter's Fish

Feed Me

Horse Model

Get In Line!

Coffee World

Horsing Around

Think Big

The Wurst Spiral I've Seen

Grass Leak

Dead Sea Fish

Jesus On The Beach

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Moldy Bible

Break Dance Soccer