#1 humor site on the 'net

Christmas Dinner Made Easy

Christmas recipes stuffed with good ideas

Christmas Dinner Made Easy thanks to Barry McCartney

Everything you need for Christmas Tinner

QuotaBills
Dinner is poured. - WC Fields

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

There ain't no such thing as wrong food. - Sean Stewart

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

I'm tired of recipes assuming I have a stove. - Kevin Farzad

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

Chocolate is more than a food, but less than a drug. - R J Huxtable

My favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations. - Unknown

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Electroplate: What atomic scientists eat their dinner from - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. - Danielle Steel

I love Thanksgiving turkey - it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

Most fat food is fried. Fried food tastes great, and people don't seem to care about the fat aspect. - Eric Schlosser

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

Not to mince words, Mr. Epstein, we don't like your boys' sound. Groups of guitarists are on the way out. - Brian Epstein

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli


$383.00 Paint Job

Wine Time Finally

Scooter Hearse

Thailand Ferry

Hard Hat Safety

Water Coolant

Spray-On Clothing

Bright Bookshelf

Saddle Surprise

Politicians Be Like

Senior Aerobics

Foiled Again

Redneck Beer Hunter

Pair Produce

Potting Pot

Ice Cream Burqa

Dog Soother

Fourk

Women's Outhouse

Crocodile Floor

Hummer Carriage

Antler Switch Plate

Redneck Cotter Pin

Redneck Bulldozer