Circumcision Without Paining

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Sickness soaks the purse. - International Proverb

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis

Boredom is a sickness of the soul. - Unknown

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

Pain and suffering are God's megaphone. - C S Lewis

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain. - Charlie Chaplin

A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The more you get past pain, the more it goes from coal to diamond. - Jodi Picoult

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. - Walter Bagehot

Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else. - James Kirkup

The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal. - C S Lewis

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things. - Gilbert Gottfried

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it. - J K Rowling

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live. - Kanye West

You purchase pain with all that joy can give and die of nothing but a rage to live. - Alexander Pope

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope

Everybody has losses - it's unavoidable in life. Sharing our pain is very healing. - Isabel Allende

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis

My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

The art of healing comes from nature, not from the physician. Therefore the physician must start from nature, with an open mind. - Paracelsus

A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man - he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

In order to have great happiness you have to have great pain and unhappiness - otherwise how would you know when you're happy? - Leslie Caron

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Do something everyday that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. - Mark Twain

The pain started years ago, but I'd lived with it for so long at that point that I'd accepted it as an inevitable part of me. - Ashley Wallis

When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart