#1 humor site on the 'net

Clever Weather Billboard

Finally a weather forecast you can count on!

Clever Weather Billboard thanks to Keith Blake

Up-to-date real-time weather reports

QuotaBills
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Advertising Executive: Yessir, nosir, ulcer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. - Robert H Schuller

An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

Marketing and innovation are the two chief functions of business. - Peter F Drucker

Increasingly, the mass marketing is turning into a mass of niches. - Chris Anderson

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. - Jerry M Wright

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart. - Jose N Harris

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Tears shed for self are tears of weakness, but tears shed for others are a sign of strength. - Billy Graham

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us; it is the very sign of His presence. - C S Lewis

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

Advertising promotes the divine discontent which makes people strive to improve their economic status. - Ralph Butler

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances. - Sarah Young

It no longer makes economic sense to send an advertising message to the many in hopes of persuading the few. - M. Lawrence Light

It's a sign of age if you feel like the morning after the night before and you haven't been anywhere. - Unknown

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Crying doesn't indicate that you are weak. Ever since you were born it's been a sign that you are alive. - Unknown

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

In today's information age of Marketing and Web 2.0, a company's website is the key to their entire business. - Marcus Sheridan

The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself. - Peter F Drucker

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Audiences everywhere are tough. They don't have time to be bored or brow beaten by orthodox, old fashioned advertising. - Craig Davis

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day. - Suzy Kassem

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

Instead of one-way interruption, Web marketing is about delivering useful content at just the precise moment that a buyer needs it. - David M. Scott

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless. - Sinclair Lewis

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't need to advertise it. - Will Rogers

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Dog Soother

Fourk

Women's Outhouse

Crocodile Floor

Hummer Carriage

Antler Switch Plate

Redneck Cotter Pin

Redneck Bulldozer

Your Fly Is Down

Chili Rub

Tire Rotation

Political Promise Hauler

Steering Wheel For Couples

Confined By Walls

Moon Descent

Redneck Selfie Stick

1957 Woolworth Menu

Cops Beating A Black Man in NYC

The New Norm

Police Car Of The Year

If You're Looking For A Sign

Upside Down Amusement

Bread Zeppelin

Special Second Meal