#1 humor site on the 'net

Coin Wishing Tree

In lieu of a Coin Toss in the United Kingdom

Coin Wishing Tree thanks to Keith Blake

A Money Tree (Swilla Glen) near Ingleton, North Yorkshire, United Kingdom

Coin Wishing Tree thanks to Keith Blake

In the 1700s, they were used as wishing trees.

Coin Wishing Tree thanks to Keith Blake

People believed that a person suffering from an illness could hammer a coin into a tree trunk, and the tree would take the illness away...

Coin Wishing Tree thanks to Keith Blake

But if someone removed a coin, they themselves would become ill.

Coin Wishing Tree thanks to Keith Blake

Certainly didn't bring good health to the tree

QuotaBills
Weeping Willow: Sad tree - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every man under his own fig tree. - Hebrew Saying

Follow the grain in your own wood. - Howard Thurman

Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tweezers: A tool for removing wood splinters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Great minds have purposes; others have wishes. - Washington Irving

We often confuse what we wish for with what is. - Neil Gaiman

If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner. - H.S. Leigh

Magic: An art of converting superstition into coin - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Whittle By Whittle: How to carve a statue out of wood - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees. - Henry David Thoreau

If man could have half his wishes he would double his troubles. - Benjamin Franklin

Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out. - Karl Augustus Menninger

The clearest way into the universe is through a forest wilderness. - John Muir

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

In critical moments, men sometimes see exactly what they wish to see. - Leonard Nimoy

If you tell a joe-k in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joe-k? - Steven Wright

Zealotry: 1. The enemy of idealism; 2. What a tree salesman likes to do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it. - Michel de Montaigne

Death is just a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees. - J.J. Furnas

I wish I could be half as sure of anything as some people are of everything. - Gerald Barzan

Man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible. - St. Augustine

With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now. - Groucho Marx

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

As the sculptor devotes himself to wood and stone, I would devote myself to my soul. - Toyohiko Kagawa

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

When I see my granddaughters make small discoveries of their own, I wish I were a child. - Dr. Seuss

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

I often sit back and think, I wish I'd done that and find out later that I already have. - Richard Harris

Most people can bear adversity. But if you wish to know what a man really is, give him power. - Robert G. Ingersoll

I wish I were a little girl again because skinned knees are easier to fix than a broken heart. - Julia Roberts

Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order. - John Adams

The heart of another is a dark forest, always, no matter how close it has been to one's own. - Willa Cather

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

The power is detested, and miserable the life, of him who wishes to be feared rather than to be loved. - Cornelius Nepos

I wish I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand, and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours. - Bernard Berenson

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Wood: That remarkable material which burns so easily in a forest and with such difficulty in a fireplace - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Let us decide on the route that we wish to take to pass our life, and attempt to sow that route with flowers. - Du Chatelet

The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes and inspires his listener with the wish to teach himself. - Edward Bulwer-Lytton

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

The family, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor in our innermost hearts never quite wish to. - Dodie Smith

Enthusiasm is the best protection in any situation. Wholeheartedness is contagious. Give yourself if you wish to get others. - David Seabury

Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending. You plan a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first the foundation of humility. - Saint Augustine

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

Peace is not something you wish for; it's something you make, something you do, something you are, something you give away. - Unknown

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

This, then, is the test we must set for ourselves; not to march alone but to march in such a way that others will wish to join us. - Hubert H. Humphrey

The very things we wish to avoid, neglect and flee from turn out to be the 'prima materia' from which all real growth comes. - Andrew Harvey

Study while others are sleeping; work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing; and dream while others are wishing. - William Arthur Ward

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery - air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, 'This is what it is to be happy.' - Sylvia Plath

There are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wish you gave. - Dale Carnegie

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Welfare State

No Flies On Me

Stick Family Meal

Wet Floor

Lord Of The Watch

Close Encounters of the Whale Kind

Military Watch Tower

No Go Intersection

Public Transportation In Scotland

Guarded Nights

Financial Meltdown

Fox Kabob

Microwaved Bulb... Watts You Won't See

Saks-e Parking Job

Griller Bees

Texting While Cycling

Redneck Manicure

Police Profiling In Canada

Tree Stand

No Worries

Hospital Gown Insurance

Facebook Red Light

Redneck Speed Bump

Scientific Driving Test