Joe-ks.com
#1 humor site on the 'net
Computer Support
Solving hardware problems one byte at a time
Tech Support: How can I help you?
Female Caller: “Last night my computer started making a lot of hissing noises at me so I shut it down. This morning when I turned it on the computer started hissing and cracking, then started smoking and a bad smell, then nothing.”
Tech Support: “I will have a technician come over first thing this morning. Leave the computer just like it is, so they can find the problem and fix it, or change it out with another computer. Give me your address; phone number and the technician will be there just as soon as he can.”
When the technician got there, the lady showed him where the computer was, and said what happened to it. This is what the technician found wrong...
Female Caller: “Last night my computer started making a lot of hissing noises at me so I shut it down. This morning when I turned it on the computer started hissing and cracking, then started smoking and a bad smell, then nothing.”
Tech Support: “I will have a technician come over first thing this morning. Leave the computer just like it is, so they can find the problem and fix it, or change it out with another computer. Give me your address; phone number and the technician will be there just as soon as he can.”
When the technician got there, the lady showed him where the computer was, and said what happened to it. This is what the technician found wrong...
Tech Support: “It must have been after the mouse!”
Even snakes are afraid of snakes. - Steven Wright
Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking
You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino
A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb
Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown
Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy
It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. - Robin Williams
Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak
The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich
If Adam and Eve were alive today, they would probably sue the snake. - Bern Williams
When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying
If you see a snake, just kill it - don't appoint a committee on snakes. - H. Ross Perot
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips
Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci
Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte
You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs
I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle
Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA
Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt
Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking
You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino
A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb
Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown
Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy
It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. - Robin Williams
Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak
The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich
If Adam and Eve were alive today, they would probably sue the snake. - Bern Williams
When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying
If you see a snake, just kill it - don't appoint a committee on snakes. - H. Ross Perot
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips
Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci
Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte
You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs
I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle
Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA
Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt
Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
Bicycle Dining
Shark Bike
Thrilling Read
Extra Weight
Yoga's Balanced Lifestyle
Gift Shop for Stray Kids
Souped Up Car
Darth VadeHer
Submergible
Happy People
Today's Paper Read Yesterday
Someone Is Upset
Texas Diet
Moose Crossing
Lost Meal
Plane Oops!
The Wheels of Life
Nerd Shaving
Beethoven's Teacher
Coke's Special Ingredients
Weather Warning
Freedom At Last
Ebola Can Be Eaten
Open Face Sandwich