Cracks Me Up

Hatchet: What a hen does to an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Himalaya: A rooster that lays an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I always wake up at the crack of ice. - Joe E Lewis

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them. - German proverb

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk. - Will Rogers

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

The world is an oyster, but you don't crack it open on a mattress. - Arthur Miller

Never say never because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion. - Michael Jordan

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. - Milton Berle

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. - Bernard Meltzer

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

A reputation, once damaged, may possibly be repaired, but the world will always keep their eyes on the spot where the crack was. - Joseph Hall

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell