#1 humor site on the 'net

Crash Course in Texas Weather

The Four Seasons y'all remember

Crash Course in Texas Weather thanks to Keith Blake

Your choice between dry, arid, humid, sticky, hot or hotter

QuotaBills
The brain is wider than the sky. - Emily Dickinson

If the sky falls, hold up your hands. - Spanish proverb

Fog is just clouds that have fell down. - Unknown

Knock on the sky and listen to the sound. - Zen Saying

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud. - Maya Angelou

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition. - William Ward

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

He who has the property in the soil has the same up in the sky. - Latin Proverb

You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows. - Bob Dylan

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. - Charles Dudley Warner

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

There are a zillion variables to a hamburger. What part of the animal went into it. What coarseness. What temperature. - Danny Meyer

That black cloud is coming from the direction the wind is blowing, now the wind is coming from where the black cloud is. - Ray Illingworth

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense. - Joseph Addison

It's better to look at the sky than live there. Such an empty place; so vague. Just a country where the thunder goes and things disappear. - Truman Capote

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright


Upended Water Buffalo

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Face Heater

Leap Year Shirt

World's Greatest Typo

Icehenge

Found It!

Puma Pants

Polar Bear Attack

Foot Sign Language

Winter Tires

Hooters Face Mask

Latte Art

Whiskey Toothpaste

Titanic's Non-Romantic Scene

Fake News

Steep Steps

Better Lawyer

Snow Detour

No Time For This

Kwik-Mart Math

Croatian Landscaping

Best Fairy Tale

Back In Five Minutes