#1 humor site on the 'net

Crash Course in Texas Weather

The Four Seasons y'all remember

Crash Course in Texas Weather thanks to Keith Blake

Your choice between dry, arid, humid, sticky, hot or hotter

QuotaBills
Fog is just clouds that have fell down. - Unknown

Grey skies are just clouds passing over. - Duke Ellington

Knock on the sky and listen to the sound. - Zen Saying

Clouds: The travelling mountains of the sky - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't let one cloud obliterate the whole sky. - Anais Nin

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain

The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart. - Buddha

Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything. - C S Lewis

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows. - Bob Dylan

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

I have to dream and reach for the stars, and if I miss a star then I grab a handful of clouds. - Mike Tyson

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

Caesar dreamed that he was flying above the clouds, and now that he was clasping the hand of Jupiter. - Suetonius

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

The visions are fragmented and a dark cloud spreads like spilt ink across the pages of possible futures. - Garth Nix

Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. - Corrie Ten Boom

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

The blazing wings of dawn spirited me away, Dragon-swift above the suns-rise, flying to my destiny beyond the clouds. - Marc Secchia

That black cloud is coming from the direction the wind is blowing, now the wind is coming from where the black cloud is. - Ray Illingworth

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day. - Suzy Kassem

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

The tropical rain forests are a telling example. Once cut down, they rarely recover. Rainfall drops, deserts spread, the climate warms. - James Lovelock

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

It's better to look at the sky than live there. Such an empty place; so vague. Just a country where the thunder goes and things disappear. - Truman Capote

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


Sidewalk Malt Melt

Bird's Eye View

Sea Girl

Lifeguard Distancing

Merry Go Motorbike

Build Back Better - Season 2

Build Back Better - Season 1

Zamboni Date

Bagpipe Runners

9 Months On The Inside

Noah Called

The Mighty Stegosaurus

Get A Dog They Said

Are You Ready?

Down Day

Peddle Sewing Machine Sink

You Never Call

Dawntastic

Work Rules

Navy Golf Course for Aircraft Carriers

Less Severe Inflation

Hotel Annex

King Stump

Diet Carbs