Dead Sea Fish

Off-the-docks Jews (Orthodox Jews) - Archie Bunker

Atheism is a non-prophet organization. - George Carlin

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

A prophet is without honor in his own community. - The Bible

All men are Jews, except they don't know it. - Bernard Malamud

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. - Henny Youngman

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

I don't think anyone has been slandered more than the Jews. - Fidel Castro

I'm not a Jew. I'm Jewish. I don't go the whole hog. - Jonathan Miller

Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering. - Milton Berle

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan

Physics is the only profession in which prophecy is not only accurate but routine. - Neil deGrasse Tyson

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

You still can't find Israel on a map of the Middle East in a Palestinian schoolbook. - Suzanne Fields

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

If you keep on saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet. - Isaac B. Singer

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials. - Mordecai Richler

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. - Milton Berle

Pessimism becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; it reproduces itself by crippling our willingness to act. - Howard Zinn

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw

Science has not yet mastered prophecy. We predict too much for the next year and yet far too little for the next ten. - Neil A Armstrong

Israel is still the only country in the world against which there is a written document to the effect that it must disappear. - Menachem Begin

Canceled checks will be to future historians and cultural anthropologists what the Dead Sea Scrolls and hieroglyphics are to us. - Brent Staples

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman