Diet Silverware

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

When you come to a fork in the road, take it. - Yogi Berra

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

The louder he talked of his honesty, the quicker we counted the silverware. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock