Diet Swing

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Have a healthy disregard for the impossible. - Larry Page

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy. - Groucho Marx

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have. - Winston Churchill

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

Desperation is a fellow shaving before stepping on the scales. - Unknown

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

I find there is only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin

The key to a healthy lawn is to take care of what happens below ground. - Mike Bechtle

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy Fisher

A rich rogue is like a fat hog, who never does good 'til as dead as a log. - Benjamin Franklin

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60. - Jack Nicholson

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

The true object of all human life is play. Earth is a task garden; heaven is a playground. - G K Chesterton

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it. - Fulton J Sheen

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

The evolution of playground equipment has been to this ever safer, less challenging, less interesting assemblies of equipment. - Gever Tulley

If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton

Maintaining healthy forests is essential to those who make a living from the land and for those of us who use them for recreational purposes. - Cathy M. Rodgers

A healthy, if well-concealed, respect for one's own capabilities is essential, but it should never lead to underestimating those of the opponent. - Jack Nicklaus

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock