#1 humor site on the 'net

Do Not Disturb

Ever get annoyed when your concentration is interrupted?

Do Not Disturb thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

How to manage disturbing situations

When the System Administrator is on a tight schedule
What don't you understand about the word 'No'?
QuotaBills
The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker

Defect-free software does not exist. - Wietse Venema

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson

I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray. - Seymoure Cray

I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore

Immunity to boredom gives the computer an edge. - Alan Lakein

Real Soon Now: When the software will be shipped - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop. - Mark Zuckerberg

The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. - Stephen Fry

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet. - Will Ferrell

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll

Iconomic: Making do with fewer icons on your computer desktop - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm. - Alan Perlis

The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it. - John P Barlow

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar

People who are really serious about software should make their own hardware. - Alan Kay

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back. - Unknown

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

Just as we could have rode into the sunset, along came the Internet, and it tripled the significance of the PC. - Andy Grove

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

The new information technology (Internet and e-mail) have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications. - Peter F Drucker

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

From sixdegrees to Friendster to Facebook, social networking has become a familiar and ubiquitous part of the Internet. - David Kirkpatrick

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry

The day I made that statement, about inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the camcorder. - Al Gore

Cell phones, mobile e-mail, and all the other cool and slick gadgets can cause massive losses in our creative output and overall productivity. - Robin S Sharma

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


Eye Testing In Progress

Parent Signature

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Long Bore Gun

Bird Cam

Lost Wormhole

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

Low Ceiling Workout

Dog Diner

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Cow Farts

Revenge

Gaping Hole Costume

Redneck Water Skiing

Harrison Ford

Plenty of Room for God's Creatures

Aussie Selfie

Pyramid Kiss

Piano Door Bell

Trucks with 'Down' Syndrome

Tower of Pisa Restorer

Glamour Training

What Did She Say?

I'm Here!