#1 humor site on the 'net

Dog Pot Nap

Choosing an above-ground bed with built in pot-e

Dog Pot Nap thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Head rests for dogs

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz

Every pot will find its lid. - Yiddish Saying

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

Only the spoon knows the pot's sorrows. - Don Orsati

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Wok The Dog: Specialty at Vietnamese Restaurants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

When the whole neighborhood turns into a smelting pot. - Archie Bunker

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

We are seldom aware of what's cooking until the pot boils over. - Amish Saying

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

I'm out there everyday amongst them, in the smelting pot of New York. - Archie Bunker

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

Make big pots of soups, stews and chilis, they stretch a buck, and you can live off them for days. - Rachael Ray

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Sidewalk Malt Melt

Bird's Eye View

Sea Girl

Lifeguard Distancing

Merry Go Motorbike

Build Back Better - Season 2

Build Back Better - Season 1

Zamboni Date

Bagpipe Runners

9 Months On The Inside

Noah Called

The Mighty Stegosaurus

Get A Dog They Said

Are You Ready?

Down Day

Peddle Sewing Machine Sink

You Never Call

Dawntastic

Work Rules

Navy Golf Course for Aircraft Carriers

Less Severe Inflation

Hotel Annex

King Stump

Diet Carbs