#1 humor site on the 'net

Down Under Cross Breeding

World's first milking horse an udder success

Down Under Cross Breeding thanks to Howard Chapman

The positive side of the horse meat scandal

QuotaBills
Trojan Horse: A phony pony - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Nag: A woman with no horse sense - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Stabilized: A horse that's been locked in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

Wiener: The first to cross the line in a Mexican horse race - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker

Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci

Sherbet: 1. A horse that can't lose; 2. A tip on a horse race or sporting event. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle. - Alfred Hitchcock

Good Secretary: A stenographer who must think like a man, act like a lady, and work like a horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. - Dale Carnegie

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We ought to do good to others as simply as a horse runs, or a bee makes honey, or a vine bears grapes season after season without thinking of the grapes it has borne. - Marcus Aurelius

For the want of a nail, the shoe was lost; for the want of a shoe the horse was lost; and for the want of a horse the rider was lost, being overtaken and slain by the enemy, all for the want of care about a horseshoe nail. - Unknown


Chubby Free

Pirrows

Young Rock Star

Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding

Paddy Field Canal

Grow A Boyfriend

Mars Images

Drumset Motorcycle